From my experience, finding ourselves pessimistic and nihilistic are part of the process of full awakening. All of our views, hopes, beliefs and philosophies go out the door. We are left helpless, hopeless, without meaning and purpose. I suspect anyone who fully awakens goes through this, maybe sometimes for years. And too many stop here. Half-baked.This point is half way around the circle and still being encapsulated by the circle. It is the Ghost’s Cave.
If we then somehow set aside our philosophical, mind-created stance of pessimism and nihilism, fully admit “we” ultimately don’t know anything, then a profound opening may happen and we effortlessly live in wonder, delight and astonishment.
At the level of our thinking conceptual mind, there is a profound not knowing, not concluding about anything. Anything that can be said about This is not IT, including saying it is “This,” is “IT.” There is silence.
In spite of rivers and mountains now once again being rivers and mountains, there is absolute freedom to Be. Outside the encapsultion of the circle. 
The Heart of Conscious Living 
Thank you for such a beautifully written, concise, and yet full explanation of what has been happening here. I will endeavor to drop deeper into the not knowing. Kathy Stewart
On Tue, Oct 19, 2021 at 8:47 AM The Heart of Conscious Living wrote:
> The Heart of Conscious Living posted: ” From my view, finding ourselves > pessimistic and nihilistic are part of the process of full awakening. All > of our views, hopes, beliefs and philosophies go out the door. We are left > helpless, hopeless, without meaning and purpose. I suspect anyone who ful” >
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Thank you for your kind words Kathryn. May you find the joy and freedom that is beyond all words and concepts.
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Great article as usual and seems to resonate with “where I am”, I use inverted commas because there is no centre anywhere, apart from what the brain decides, anyway I digress. I spent years seeking and even had what you might call a satori experience, which was 6 weeks of bliss, and when it ended I was devastated to return to “normal”, and spent another year seeking even harder lol. Then I realised that it’s all BS, and I descended into a deep nihilism. Now I’ve come out of that and realised that “mountains are mountains”. So I’ve come full circle and I’ve accepted that any emotions that come up are not right or wrong, they’re just what come up. It’s called being human.
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Very beautiful Karl! Yes, there is so much freedom in this to simply be as we are.
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